Pre-Caper Sideways

 Home

On Friday morn, at break of dawn,

We fetched the morning papers,

And then discovered to our joy,

’Twas almost time to ’Caper’

We breakfasted and packed our bags

And locked the doors and ’winders’

And turned off all the services

The house might burn to cinders.

-

Come on! Lets go! My driver said

We have to get some petrol,

I should have topped up yesterday

But I’m getting quite forgetful.

-

Then off we set intrepidly, towards the frozen north,

Following the satnavs guidance to keep us on our course.

But then we hit the roadworks, the diversions & the jams,

It seems almost impossible that we could stick to plans.

-

So we spoke to good old ’Ethel’

She’s our satnav (by the way)

and she found us a different route

That took us far away…….

From the traffic and the hazards

And the things that made us mad

And gently steered us through the gloom

To the comfort of our pad

We checked into our lodging it was

Nam-ed the Black Swan

And then departed to the Inn

Where t’rest of Bears had gone

-

When fifty Bears are dining

There’s a bit of noise and laughter

Some caused by an unusual cake

Bob Smith presented after

New chairman, Mike, had reached

An age when he could travel ’Saga’

And sup strong cocoa every night

Instead of pints of lager

                                -

So to commemorate that fact and

Celebrate in style

The cake was shaped like a Page 3 girl

Wearing little more than a smile

’Oh can we have a sample’ the

Bears began to shout,

For ’the cake looks very tasty’

Of that theres’ not a doubt’

                                -

But carving up young ladies

With almost not a stitch on,

Defeated Mike for all his skills

So he sent her to the kitchen

                                -

For a chef he is an expert at

Dismembering a bird,

Though a showgirl may not be his usual fare,

So he set to with a will, and

Carved her up with skill

And each person then received an equal share.

                                -

Then ’Swanners’ headed back to base

With breakfast ordered early,

We’ve never ’capered sideways’

Let’s hope it’s not too whirly.

For roads up here go up and down

And round and down and through

And it’s hard to know where

you’re heading – and where you’re

going to.

                                -

But you know that you’ll enjoy it

’cos Bears Runs are the best

And you’ll enjoy the driving

And the ’bear’ will do the rest.

Heather